April 9, 2025

It was a small white casket — much too small — with a white pillowy interior. Alice was wrapped in her mama’s own baby blanket and placed delicately to rest with her first Bible, her mama’s gold baby bracelet from Iran (the one she also wore as a little girl), a small clay cross and a clay heart made by her mama during her pregnancy, and all of the love in the world.

On the morning of her funeral, these were the last words we each wrote to Alice in the front pages of her Bible and placed with her in her casket.

To Alice from Daddy:

Alice April Meadows,

My daughter, my love, half of my very self. There are no words to express the joy of holding you in life and the grief of seeing you in death. The hope of the resurrection is now our strongest source of meaning. You are so beautiful, good, and altogether lovely. How do I let go of all the planned memories that exist only in my imagination? I lament how they will never become reality on this side of eternity. As your earthly father, I have anxiously prayed that my life would point you to your Heavenly Father… and I hope that it has.

We are confident that you are in the loving arms of the Holy Trinity, alive with us in spirit among the communion of saints.

Pray for us often – your mother and I. There is an Alice-sized hole in our hearts that will never go away. Help teach us to steward this grief and your memory for the Kingdom of Christ, where we will see you again, face to face.

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Your father,

Scott

To Alice from Mama:

My sweet Alice,

There are so many things I want to say to you. So many promises and plans and wishes. So many dreams I wanted to dream with you. Your life on this earth, though much too short, has given mine meaning. To be your mama is my greatest joy and privilege — and it’s the title I cling to for hope. Hope for that day to come soon. The day when all things are made right and new. And I hear your little voice call for me. I’m always listening for you, baby. My sweet beautiful Alice. My Allie girl.

You’re the reason I keep on going, even though I really don’t want to without you. But I think you want me to.

I can’t wait to see your perfect face again, Alice, and to hold you and kiss you and talk with you — forever. What a dream, to never be away from you again. Please stay close to me, sweet girl. I need you. I miss you. I love you. Always. You are my whole heart.

Love,

your Mama